A Christmas Caveat...

Whew, I have been decompressing after the Thanksgiving holiday, all that food and family was a bit much and now I am thrown into the biggest holiday season of the year, Christmas!!! I love Christmas (thank you Jesus for being born), but I also love the mainstreamness(I know this is not a word, but it is fitting) of it all, the songs, the Eggnog, the decorations and of course gifts! Now as an adult I never look forward to many gifts, I realized a long time ago I am no longer the giftee but now the gifter. With that in mind it is important for me to realize creative ways to buy gifts for my child and other young loved ones.... Christmas can get very pricey, so my advice to you mommies if you haven't already learned this is to start early... Many of the items your children want can be found in the middle of the year for reasonable prices, you all know waiting to the last minute to get your kid that perfect toy can cost half your rent (remember Tickle Me Elmo). My next piece of advice is to also stress the importance of the holidays true meaning and incorporate family fun. There are many ways to have a great christmas without spoiling your children with gifts they will forget about in January! Children usually remember the great moments versus the gifts. My final piece of advice is to show your children how lucky they are, by having them donate some of their old toys, books and clothing to children less fortunate. This is a great way to ensure your children understand they do not need all of Toys r' Us for Christmas and that there are so many great ways to celebrate Christmas by helping others.

So I have given my ideas for ways to prevent holiday stress and keep a little money in your pocket. What do you mommies do to keep your holiday spirits bright? Write about it!!!

A Wonderful Woman

So as you all know we have a new president-elect! Yay!!! Now as powerful as this election is and how things will continue to be not only challenging yet beautiful, Barack as we know can't do it alone... I'm not talking about his cabinet members, but his real team mate, Michelle Obama! She is the epitome of fierceness; a wife, a daughter and last but not least a mother. She is a beautiful person and highly intelligent- exactly what we need to help run the country!!!! Lets also not forget to mention her great sense of self, which is evident in how she carries herself and how assured her daughters appear to be. Michelle Obama is a strong example of how mothers should exude confidence, respect and self-esteem for their children to witness a positive role model in the home. Congrats to Michelle Obama for being Fabulous!!

Todays Teens

Okay, let me just give a quick backdrop to this posting; I am a young mother and I am raising a tween daughter. Having stated that, you ladies whom are raising children in this era know it is difficult, it is like these kids come out of the womb with information about any and everything.... I was on the train today and as I got settled into my seat, yea I actually got a seat, there were some kids who were older than my child but not significantly, submerged in a heavy conversation. They were loud for one, but that wasn't even the part that concerned me, it was the topics they discussed. These kids looked to be about 14 or 15, which is still young in my eyes to talk about the things they "knew" so much about. I mean I almost had to pick my face off the floor while listening to this conversation. The cursing, the derogatory marks about other peers, the disrespect, the content... I was utterly disgusted. When I was a teen granted I was far from perfect, however I was afraid to be anywhere in public cursing or acting a fool, I just knew someone would see me and I would get into trouble. These kids now, have no regard for social awareness, nor do I think they even care! I just don't know what to say anymore... However, what I think of when I see these kids are, who is doing the raising?, what are they being exposed to and my God my child...

I tell her listen, "I want you to go out into this world loving and respecting yourself". I also tell her not to embarrass herself and also not to embarrass me! If I hear she is miss-behaving in school, on someones corner, train or bus it is going to be a problem!! And parents my message to you would be to take a more proactive role in your children's life, but I probably don't have to tell the mothers that read this blog that!!!! What are your thoughts on today's teens, Speak on it...

A hair discovery!!!

So it has been years of dealing with washing, conditioning and styling my daughters hair without having found the proper hair product. I have tried everything from Motions to Carols Daughter, with little success ( Carols daughter Tui Leave-in conditioner is awesome, though). Anyways I have hunted high and low, near and far for the perfect product for my daughters naturally curly-kinky hair and I have discovered it, Oh Yes!!!! If you live in the NYC area you can find it in Rickys, if not you can go to this website: Missjessies.com. I tried the Curly Buttercreme and the Rapid Recovery Treatment, when I say I witnessed an instant difference in my daughters texture, Wow! It brought not only shine but manageability along with it and that is all I really needed. I suggest this product for women who have children wearing there natural hair, no matter how soft or tight the curl, this product will get it looking and feeling gorgeous. Also for women who are growing out their perms or stretching them, which is what I have been doing, try this line of products for the new growth as well. It isn't heavy on the hair! I love it, and I pray it brings you and your children as much joy as it brings me... Oh just to keep it real with you ladies it is definitely on the pricier side a 2 oz jar can cost 9 bucks! I know we are in a recession, but lets at least look good!!!!

Celebrity fashionista pick of the month

This is something new I would like to incorporate into my blog on a monthly basis. Now I know what is fashionable is always debateable, however I feel this months pick is a hands down winner. My pick for a super fly fashionista who also is a single mommy goes to Solange Knowles!!!! I think her style is one that is fierce and fearless. She is not afraid to incorporate colors, textures and her unique sense of self in every thing she wears. For some her style may be a little too extra or just simply weird, but I think she mostly exudes a confidence many women lack!!!! I say rock on Solange in all that you do! And keep surprising me with your fun yet sexy apparel!! Do you ladies have any great things to say about Solange? Write about it, right now....

Cut your coupons!!!

Wow, I have been gone for a while, apologies... But a lot sure has happened,we managed to nose-dive into a recession but we have elected Barack Obama! So I guess for every negative there is a positive....

Since we keep hearing ofthis recession, I have been finding ways to cut corners every block I turn (better to be safe than sorry). So I found this great website for all you mommies who have to feed hungry growing kids. I have never been one to cut coupons but I am now, thanks to a great website called Coupons.com you can find an array of coupons ranging from beauty aids to of course food!

Go check out the website and get clipping!!! Are there any other ways you ladies are cutting corners??? Speak on it...

Little Girl Woes

The other day I picked my daughter up from her after school program. I was excited to see her as usual; I love to hear all the hot gossip of her fourth grade class seeing as how that's the highlight of my days, I digress, anyway for some odd reason this particular day she decided to give me much attitude. I looked at her and I let her know I was going to step outside. She gathered her belongings and eventually met me outside, I told her to come in close to me because I wanted her to hear everything I had to say, I let her have it. I wasn't super loud, nor was I condescending, but it is all about the tone.... So after we had our talk she began to cry she cried from 10Th ave to 8Th ave( these NYC avenues are not short). Her attitude was all about me picking her up too early because she wanted to finish playing a game.
As we are walking to the train, I pondered the thought of her being 14 and not caring about my tone or what i was saying, I then began to get extremely nervous. I do not anticipate dealing with a young girl who is on the verge of becoming a young lady, and all the other mess that comes along with it.YIKES!!! I mean here my child is a sweet nine year old already worried about her hair being straightened and when can she purchase her first pair of skinny jeans!!! What the heck does she know about skinny jeans....? I am getting nervous. The little boys are already looking at her, the other day we were in central park skating and this little boy couldn't stop staring at her..... I try to tell her about life in the most honest, yet age appropriate way and hope that she will never stray too far from my teachings. I am going to continue to be optimistic for her, and I will continue to pray for her.... And pray for me because that attitude, I cant deal with. Ohh Gosh i just thought about when she officially becomes a woman...I'm scared....
What advice do you mommies give your young daughters...Speak on it...

So Sweet Spring Shoes

Spring is here and as I suspected I have no fun spring shoes!!!!

I have been feeling lately as if I am in a fashion rut, so you know what I did I bought a pair of yellow patent leather sandals for the spring! They are sexy and I am going to wear them with everything, why? because they make me happy!!! My daughter put them on to walk around our apartment, I let her know she better not scuff mommy's joy! She looked at me perplexed, I then told her its just a material item that makes me feel good ( do the Halle Berry voice from Monster's Ball, when you read that line) and that she was mommy's TRUE joy, whew...

Ladies if you are feeling a little bored or clothing feel a little bland, I would adivse you to get a pair of yellow sandals or peep toe pumps. Wear those girls with jeans, your work fits or a gorgeous spring dress!!!

What material item for spring makes you happy? Speak on it?

Single mommy

While the number of single mothers especially in urban and or poor communities seem to stagger upward each year, we hear the phrases often associated "I can do it by myself, I don't need a man" or "My child's father don't do shit". We know it is truly beneficial not just for the child but also the mother to have a POSITIVE male figure around our angels, but this is not always likely, hell I live this on a daily basis, however as a single mother it is not my job to blame my child or wait for her father or search for someone, I have to make sure I am emotionally and spiritually in-sync. As a single mother I feel it is key to try as best as possible to edify your child. I know it is hard being positive at all times, but you have too. Your children thrive off of it, when you are happy they are happy. I know as a personal example, when I am feeling down or worried or any other negative adjective us single moms experience, my daughter feeds off of my vibe usually making the situation more difficult.

Now I know some will read this and say "this b#*ch is living in a fairy tale...."My response to that is absolutely not!!!! I am a young single mother and I know....Trust...... It ain't easy when your child's father is a piece of $#^%....

With all of that said this post is in response to something I witnessed on the train today... It was a woman and her son. I observed the women and my initial thoughts were she is obviously struggling to keep her head above water, however what I saw after a few minutes was crazy, the way she treated her son was disgusting. She called him names and then embarrassed him by slapping him in the face while calling him stupid. I looked at her with my mouth turned down and eyes squinted out of disbelief.... I felt incredibly sad for her son, this kid was broken and he couldn't have been more than eleven. Now that I replay this woman and her son in my mind, That fairy tale life sounds wonderful.

Its boys like this who turn into men, get a woman pregnant and are incapable of loving that child because they do not love themselves. They were not equipped with the tools to navigate a healthy relationship. Get it?, it is a cruel cycle. It's not just our boys we also need to raise our young ladies. I know none of this is easy, and I am not a psychologist, but what I can do is teach my daughter to love and respect herself( they operate synchronously), keep an open and honest dialogue about life, and reaffirm all things with prayer. Just give it a try mommies..... And remember to sacrifice for your children without sacrificing yourself( that only brews resentment for a child who never asked to be here). Speak on it....