While the number of single mothers especially in urban and or poor communities seem to stagger upward each year, we hear the phrases often associated "I can do it by myself, I don't need a man" or "My child's father don't do shit". We know it is truly beneficial not just for the child but also the mother to have a POSITIVE male figure around our angels, but this is not always likely, hell I live this on a daily basis, however as a single mother it is not my job to blame my child or wait for her father or search for someone, I have to make sure I am emotionally and spiritually in-sync. As a single mother I feel it is key to try as best as possible to edify your child. I know it is hard being positive at all times, but you have too. Your children thrive off of it, when you are happy they are happy. I know as a personal example, when I am feeling down or worried or any other negative adjective us single moms experience, my daughter feeds off of my vibe usually making the situation more difficult.
Now I know some will read this and say "this b#*ch is living in a fairy tale...."My response to that is absolutely not!!!! I am a young single mother and I know....Trust...... It ain't easy when your child's father is a piece of $#^%....
With all of that said this post is in response to something I witnessed on the train today... It was a woman and her son. I observed the women and my initial thoughts were she is obviously struggling to keep her head above water, however what I saw after a few minutes was crazy, the way she treated her son was disgusting. She called him names and then embarrassed him by slapping him in the face while calling him stupid. I looked at her with my mouth turned down and eyes squinted out of disbelief.... I felt incredibly sad for her son, this kid was broken and he couldn't have been more than eleven. Now that I replay this woman and her son in my mind, That fairy tale life sounds wonderful.
Its boys like this who turn into men, get a woman pregnant and are incapable of loving that child because they do not love themselves. They were not equipped with the tools to navigate a healthy relationship. Get it?, it is a cruel cycle. It's not just our boys we also need to raise our young ladies. I know none of this is easy, and I am not a psychologist, but what I can do is teach my daughter to love and respect herself( they operate synchronously), keep an open and honest dialogue about life, and reaffirm all things with prayer. Just give it a try mommies..... And remember to sacrifice for your children without sacrificing yourself( that only brews resentment for a child who never asked to be here). Speak on it....
