Cut your coupons!!!

Wow, I have been gone for a while, apologies... But a lot sure has happened,we managed to nose-dive into a recession but we have elected Barack Obama! So I guess for every negative there is a positive....

Since we keep hearing ofthis recession, I have been finding ways to cut corners every block I turn (better to be safe than sorry). So I found this great website for all you mommies who have to feed hungry growing kids. I have never been one to cut coupons but I am now, thanks to a great website called Coupons.com you can find an array of coupons ranging from beauty aids to of course food!

Go check out the website and get clipping!!! Are there any other ways you ladies are cutting corners??? Speak on it...

Little Girl Woes

The other day I picked my daughter up from her after school program. I was excited to see her as usual; I love to hear all the hot gossip of her fourth grade class seeing as how that's the highlight of my days, I digress, anyway for some odd reason this particular day she decided to give me much attitude. I looked at her and I let her know I was going to step outside. She gathered her belongings and eventually met me outside, I told her to come in close to me because I wanted her to hear everything I had to say, I let her have it. I wasn't super loud, nor was I condescending, but it is all about the tone.... So after we had our talk she began to cry she cried from 10Th ave to 8Th ave( these NYC avenues are not short). Her attitude was all about me picking her up too early because she wanted to finish playing a game.
As we are walking to the train, I pondered the thought of her being 14 and not caring about my tone or what i was saying, I then began to get extremely nervous. I do not anticipate dealing with a young girl who is on the verge of becoming a young lady, and all the other mess that comes along with it.YIKES!!! I mean here my child is a sweet nine year old already worried about her hair being straightened and when can she purchase her first pair of skinny jeans!!! What the heck does she know about skinny jeans....? I am getting nervous. The little boys are already looking at her, the other day we were in central park skating and this little boy couldn't stop staring at her..... I try to tell her about life in the most honest, yet age appropriate way and hope that she will never stray too far from my teachings. I am going to continue to be optimistic for her, and I will continue to pray for her.... And pray for me because that attitude, I cant deal with. Ohh Gosh i just thought about when she officially becomes a woman...I'm scared....
What advice do you mommies give your young daughters...Speak on it...

So Sweet Spring Shoes

Spring is here and as I suspected I have no fun spring shoes!!!!

I have been feeling lately as if I am in a fashion rut, so you know what I did I bought a pair of yellow patent leather sandals for the spring! They are sexy and I am going to wear them with everything, why? because they make me happy!!! My daughter put them on to walk around our apartment, I let her know she better not scuff mommy's joy! She looked at me perplexed, I then told her its just a material item that makes me feel good ( do the Halle Berry voice from Monster's Ball, when you read that line) and that she was mommy's TRUE joy, whew...

Ladies if you are feeling a little bored or clothing feel a little bland, I would adivse you to get a pair of yellow sandals or peep toe pumps. Wear those girls with jeans, your work fits or a gorgeous spring dress!!!

What material item for spring makes you happy? Speak on it?

Single mommy

While the number of single mothers especially in urban and or poor communities seem to stagger upward each year, we hear the phrases often associated "I can do it by myself, I don't need a man" or "My child's father don't do shit". We know it is truly beneficial not just for the child but also the mother to have a POSITIVE male figure around our angels, but this is not always likely, hell I live this on a daily basis, however as a single mother it is not my job to blame my child or wait for her father or search for someone, I have to make sure I am emotionally and spiritually in-sync. As a single mother I feel it is key to try as best as possible to edify your child. I know it is hard being positive at all times, but you have too. Your children thrive off of it, when you are happy they are happy. I know as a personal example, when I am feeling down or worried or any other negative adjective us single moms experience, my daughter feeds off of my vibe usually making the situation more difficult.

Now I know some will read this and say "this b#*ch is living in a fairy tale...."My response to that is absolutely not!!!! I am a young single mother and I know....Trust...... It ain't easy when your child's father is a piece of $#^%....

With all of that said this post is in response to something I witnessed on the train today... It was a woman and her son. I observed the women and my initial thoughts were she is obviously struggling to keep her head above water, however what I saw after a few minutes was crazy, the way she treated her son was disgusting. She called him names and then embarrassed him by slapping him in the face while calling him stupid. I looked at her with my mouth turned down and eyes squinted out of disbelief.... I felt incredibly sad for her son, this kid was broken and he couldn't have been more than eleven. Now that I replay this woman and her son in my mind, That fairy tale life sounds wonderful.

Its boys like this who turn into men, get a woman pregnant and are incapable of loving that child because they do not love themselves. They were not equipped with the tools to navigate a healthy relationship. Get it?, it is a cruel cycle. It's not just our boys we also need to raise our young ladies. I know none of this is easy, and I am not a psychologist, but what I can do is teach my daughter to love and respect herself( they operate synchronously), keep an open and honest dialogue about life, and reaffirm all things with prayer. Just give it a try mommies..... And remember to sacrifice for your children without sacrificing yourself( that only brews resentment for a child who never asked to be here). Speak on it....

The haves and the have-nots...

After a conversation with my mother, it stimulated my mind and fingers to want to write. We spoke about how difficult it was for her to raise her three children and also do enriching things, such as dance class, a tutor for my brother who needed one and whatever else would be cultivating for a child's overall development. We spoke and spoke and she began crying. She began to discuss how she felt like we deserved so much more and how hard it was for her. I felt her pain and I told her that it is not her fault she sacrificed all she could, and we knew that. I am feeling some of what she felt, as I am a parent too. It is hard especially if you are doing it on your own. What makes being a parent even harder is the framework of our society. If you have a child it is almost impossible to pay rent, buy food, pay for childcare, pay for extracurricular activities, pay for clothes and that is just the bills surrounding the child, we won't even delve into the others. But really why is everything for our children so expensive? I think about summer camp, the really great camps are so expensive that I would have to live on the camp site if I wanted my child to go there. What about if your child needs extra help in a certain subject, if you live in an area where the schools aren't that great(this isn't hard to find as the schools in many American cities fail our children, especially in poor neighborhoods) how do you get the help your child needs. To even put your child in a course at many of these learning centers, once again you would be living at the site. I've seen some programs where they give out loans so that you can help your child do better in school. Is that not the craziest and saddest thing you've ever heard about.

In America it is realities such as poor neighborhoods + poor people + poor opportunities + poor education = poverty, that allow the gap between the haves and the have-nots to continually flourish. Why is it because you live in an area that is not well-to-do, you and your children suffer. It's not right. I think about many single parents that I know, including myself and how difficult it is to raise children who are equipped to deal with college and the work world. I am thankful that I am able to put my child in a catholic school, but if I had more than one child, forget about it... Why do I have to pay for a child's education, shouldn't it be a right for every child to have an equal education? As I see it America is not only telling the children, if you live in a certain area, you loose, but it also tells the parents of these children you have no money-you failed your child and you loose. When is this going to end?

Speak on it

Healthy Food is a Right, right?

Ok, so we all know that to walk into any organic or wholefoods store to go shopping for a family is almost impossible if you do not make a certain amount of income. Well at least for me, the single working mom, however if you can then God bless you, but seriously shouldn't good, healthy food be a norm?

I live in one of the outer boroughs and in my neighborhood it is often I walk into any market and find garbage on the shelves or occasionally meat that is just about past expiration and fruit that has become feed for bacteria. When I say garbage not in its literal term, but garbage none the less. Food that is high in MSG, sugar and other ingredients(chemicals) I cannot pronounce. This is saddening in that people who can't necessarily afford to eat good, have to deal with what is available or affordable. I know part of the lack of nutrition is a lack of education on nutrition, I get it; but that definitely is not where it begins. In any well do to neighborhood the supermarkets look fantastic, clean and stocked with an array of products, there is garbage on the shelves also, but then there are those isles. You know those isles of newly created organic brands and the person who wants to give you a sample so that you can taste the goodness and buy and have a healthy family and... You get the point.

Why is this the case, it seems that if food comes from the Earth it should be accessible to everyone. It seems as if adding chemicals into foods would make it more expensive, I mean if you are following me wouldn't that make sense. To cultivate food in its most natural form seems well natural. Outside of the production and government regulations on food, really why is good food a privilege?

Why is our society so ass backwards? It seems like a scheme to me.... But what do I know.

Speak on it

Playing God...

This is in no way to deflect from the success stories of those who have had plastic surgery. I think it is a blessing if someone has a facial deformity and the surgery has been life altering, this is the upside of the business. There is however an extremely ugly face of surgery, one that is not about helping people but all about conforming to society norms. I think in general our society has taken the plastic surgery culture to extremes. It is sad that in this era, it is all about beauty and body. It is true that body modification has been around for centuries, but not as invasive, persuasive and perverse as our current situation. It is sad when people are observing the bodies they were given as being flawed and if not flawed than it should be better. My thing is this, many of these doctors act as if you and your overall well-being lie in their hands. When did these doctors become GOD??? Yes I know the argument God; gave us the technology to do these alterations, Yes God gave these doctors the brains to operate... I do believe this, however is it just a possibility these gifts are used sometimes in error. It is too often I walk down 5th avenue and see women and now men, they look beyond artificial, borderline alien-esque. It is sad how these people have fallen victim to feelings of inadequacy. Our society inundates the minds of not just the youth, but all people with the ideals of what the body and face should look like, and if you don't look like this than there is something wrong with YOU. When is enough enough? Why would a surgeon work on a patient who is already in almost perfect shape, or work on a person whom may not be in good health, or work on someone who is still in the prime of their physical development, Why?

Society says you have to look THIS way, but when THIS way becomes like the face of today's example, then what? What do you do when your appearance is irreversible?

I think it is sad that our society has limited people by what they look like and what they can superficially offer- What are we to teach our children about beauty and SELF-WORTH. In the wake of Kanye West's mom passing away, my condolences go out to him and his family. I will be praying that he is able to come from this darkness. This situation and many others less publicized has prompted me to write....

Speak on it